For a While

I have had the most blessed Sunday in the longest time. A best friend of mine and I had sweet, sweet fellowship. We were talking about everything, from lovers to haters and everthing in between. It was great. We, both, have missed it.

Lately, Life has been a bit difficult. Family is dealing with love and how to go about it. Friends love and hate, hate and love. In the end, they stick with one. Lovers love others. New interests have old ones. Despite all of this, I try to love.

Yesterday's evening was not a very pleasant one. I cried so hard. It felt like I was nine years old again. I was crying out for someone I love to play with me, to keep me company--to love me. I wanted someone to talk with. I wanted someone I can pour out my heart and soul to. I did not have anyone, only God was there listening to me. I felt his hand on my head, on my heart. (Not that my heart is in my head. You know what I mean.) I wanted to hug him so tightly, so closely. I wanted to hear his heartbeat, and I wanted mine to beat the same beat. I needed his robe to wipe away my tears, my snots, my sorrows and heartaches. I longed for him to hold my face in his hands, to look deeply into my eyes, and to fill my heart with warmth and joy (the everlasting kind).

I miss that kind of joy. I miss that kind of love. I miss that kind of life.